


Left Unsaid

by Risti



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, spoilers: Arc of Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-07 17:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risti/pseuds/Risti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel and Tomin have a heart to heart, and both learn a few things in the process.  Ark of Truth tag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> _Originally posted on July 10,2008 to [livejournal](http://risti.livejournal.com/289226.html)._
> 
> I was looking to write something short and fun, and Anne asked for Tomin-Daniel interaction, sometime during Arc of Truth.  Well, it’s sort of short, and as fun as angst ever is.  I wanted to see if I could write something in a day, and in the end this was written and edited in just over 24 hours, which really is a record for me, for anything that I’ve ever actually intended to be good.
> 
> Of course, I made anne beta it after she made me write it, and I thank her, especially for her advice on That Part which I’m not going to mention here.
> 
> Set at the end of Ark of Truth, before the team goes through the gate, but after everything else.

Daniel looked up from the report he was typing when he heard the knock on his office door.  He sighed, wondering who it was now.  He needed to get this report finished and into the hands of the IOA and the President before they did something stupid with the Ark.

“It’s open,” he called out wearily, rubbing his forehead to try and clear his head from the strain of endlessly staring at a computer screen.

The door was opened hesitantly.  The person who tentatively walked into his office was indeed the last Daniel was expecting, and he quickly tried to force a cheery smile on his face.  This was not someone who he should vent his current frustrations to.

“Tomin,” Daniel said brightly, “Hi, come in.  What can I do for you?”

Tomin was wearing the garb of a warrior as effortlessly here as he had on the battlefield, but his face betrayed his uncertainty.  Daniel considered the quiet life Tomin had led up until Vala had entered his life.  His eyes traveled briefly to the closet where several spare sets of fatigues hung.  _None of us can know the person life forces us to become._ 

*

Tomin had nodded in response to Daniel’s greeting, but couldn’t actually find the words to say next.  He looked around at the foreign objects scattered around the room. The Book of Origin on one shelf, along with several other recognizable objects seemed to jump out at him. Tomin walked over and leafed through the obviously well read book.

He’d heard tales of Daniel Jackson, and seen enough himself to believe them.  The contents of this office had taken more than one lifetime to gather.  The idea that it was a man who had achieved ascension who brought about the downfall of the Ori only added to Tomin’s conviction that they couldn’t just abandon Origins principles.

He was so distracted, he missed what Daniel said next, but when he looked over, Daniel was gesturing towards a chair.  Gratefully, Tomin sat down, working up the courage to face the man who held Vala’s heart.

*

Daniel frowned when Tomin didn’t say anything.   The weight of emotions in his eyes made Daniel realize this was not going to be a quick conversation.  Sighing, he saved and closed the file on his computer. 

“Have a seat,” he said, more to break the silence than anything else.  The silence stretched out as Tomin looked around Daniel’s office.  Daniel couldn’t help but think of a video, locked out of sight in one of his desk drawers.  He’d watched the video, and read Vala’s report of her time spent with Tomin in the Ori galaxy, but Vala had never been willing to discuss Tomin more than what that tape captured her saying through his lips. When he’d returned to his own mind, he’d watched that video over and over until Vala had been returned to them.

No, this definitely wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.  Daniel leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he faced Tomin.  What _were_ his intentions towards Vala?  He’d suggested they were still married not that long ago.  Was he here to somehow ask for Daniel’s blessing?  The thought sent a shooting feeling of unease to the pit of his stomach.  He didn’t think he could give that to a man who had hurt Vala so badly.

“Daniel… Dr. Jackson, no, Daniel…”

He watched Tomin trip over his words, and knew he had to let Tomin say whatever it was he had come here to say.

“I need you to know that I hated you, that first time I saw you and Vala leaving our bedroom.”

Daniel’s eyebrows shot up.  _What?_

*

The look of shock on Daniel’s face threw Tomin off of his carefully prepared speech.  Did Daniel not think that he _knew_? Swallowing, he asked the question he swore he wasn’t going to ask.  “Were you there, earlier that day?  I knew Vala was hiding something from me. Was it you?”

Tomin looked up, but the challenge in his eyes was diffused by the clear eye contact Daniel appeared willing to give him.

“Yes. I was there.”

Tomin closed his eyes.  He’d already convinced himself of this, so why did the words  still hurt like a fresh wound?

“It’s not what you’re thinking, though.”

Tomin looked back up, and was again confused by the open honesty written all over Daniel’s face.  Who was this man, and how could he remain so calm?  How was he able to still respect him, when Tomin had lost all respect for himself? Tomin watched through glassy eyes as Daniel sat up straighter.

“Nothing happened between Vala and I that day.  At least, nothing like what you’re suggesting.”

*

Daniel knew that half the people on the base assumed he and Vala were sleeping together, or that they had been in the past.  He didn’t have the time or the energy to correct all of them individually, knowing that the people who mattered knew the truth.  He frowned.  Tomin was now someone who mattered, and he was suffering under impressions that were far from the truth.

“The, err, history between Vala and I is a long story, and a bit complicated.” Daniel paused, realizing that didn’t really make him sound very innocent.  He, and Vala as well, were innocent – at least of this crime – and Tomin needed to know that.  No matter what Tomin’s relationship with Vala was going to be in the future, they had been married.  “We’ve always just been friends though, I promise you.  Just friends… at least, since we stopped being enemies…”

The too familiar flashback of a kiss burned on Daniel’s conscience, but he told himself he was telling the truth.  They’d still been enemies then. He snorted, as he inevitably remembered what had followed that one kiss.

*

Tomin watched Daniel become more animated as he spoke of Vala.  He was still telling the truth, Tomin believed, but he had the same look in his eye that Vala had had earlier, only confirming the importance of what he had to say here.

“What about Adria?” Tomin asked, and he could hear the anger creeping into his voice.  He hadn’t been able to shake what he knew were inappropriate paternal feelings towards the Orisi. If Vala was his wife, and Adria was her daughter, then Adria had to still be a daughter to him, on some level. Quite possibly the only child he’d ever have. Adria hadn’t seemed to mind. Tomin suspected she kept him aboard her ship for that reason.  They had both used each other as a connection back to Vala.

If Tomin had hated Daniel for taking Vala away from him, he had despised him for betraying her with Adria.

“What about Adria?” Daniel had tossed the question back at him, as if he too knew it was too hot to handle. Tomin focused his eyes into glare that he hoped would stop Daniel from trying to evade the question again.

“Was she your _friend_ too?”

“No,” was all he said.

“But you did spend a lot of time alone with her.”

Daniel sighed. “Yes.”

Tomin paused, not able to be vulgar in what he wanted to ask, but still needing to know. “Something happened there.”

“I – She,” Daniel hesitated.  “We kissed,” he finally said.  He seemed to want to say more,  so Tomin waited.  No other explanation came.

“Does Vala know?”

“Yes,” he whispered, closing his eyes to cover the shame Tomin saw there.

*

Daniel didn’t like to talk about the time he spent with Adria on the ship.  Vala knew as much as he had told the team.  It was another thing they didn’t talk about much. 

In truth, Adria’s advances were what convinced him of Vala’s assertion that Adria had had some level of humanity.  It was Merlin who had played her childishly naïve seduction against her.  Merlin who had taken over and responded to her kisses and embraces.

It was Daniel who had put his foot down and refused to let it go further than that.

He didn’t know how to explain this to Tomin, or if he really wanted to.  Clearing the air about Vala was one thing, but Adria was a shameful look at just how far he had been willing to compromise his integrity for the greater good.

Daniel looked at Tomin, and wondered once more what answers he was looking for when he came here today.  Were his questions about Adria just something he wanted cleared up? Daniel was aware, of course, that Tomin had been there in the background most of the time on Adria’s ship.  Probably one of the only witnesses who knew something even close to the full story behind the significance of Daniel’s presence.  Or was Tomin asking something further?  Asking the question Daniel rarely dared to ask himself?

_How could you do that to Vala?_

Frowning, Daniel decided it was time for a topic change. If Tomin was going to ask all these questions, there were a few answers Daniel wouldn’t mind getting out of him as well. Daniel was the last person to want to kick a man when he was down, but there was something he needed to hear from Tomin.  Something he couldn’t let rest, now that past sins were being dredged up.

“How could you leave Vala chained there for days?”

*

Tomin swallowed at the hardened expression on Daniel’s face.  The open vulnerability there minutes earlier was replaced by the person who Tomin had met in battle.  What was worse, Tomin knew he didn’t have anything to say in his defense.  He still awoke, sweating; alone in the bed he no longer shared with Vala, from nightmares of those three days. He thought Vala might have forgiven him, with unbelievable and undeserved grace.  That didn’t mean he had forgiven himself, and that didn’t mean others had forgiven him.  He would just have to accept that.

“I had loved Origin all my life.  I’d only loved Vala a few months at that point.”

The only thing he could offer up was the same open honesty Daniel had given him.

“Damnit,” Daniel swore, and rose to his feet.  His chair grated along the floor as it slid back until it slammed into the desk behind him.  A pile of books fell off the desk with a loud thump, but it was Daniel’s anger that startled Tomin.  “She loved you.  Do you know how much of a gift that was? She was ready to make a life with you.  That goes against Vala’s nature.  She _trusted_ you, and you broke that trust.  Do you understand that?”

Daniel was pacing during his speech, but at that last question, he’d turned to look back at Tomin with raised arms that looked ready to make a fist.  Tomin had had enough.  Standing up to his full height as he’d never been able to do for most of his life, Tomin met Daniel’s glare full on.

“I loved her – I still love her.” Tomin took a step forward.  “I loved her even when I knew she was betraying me, lying to me with every kiss and every word that came from her mouth.” And another step.  “I loved her when trusting her meant I almost forfeited my own life to fight against everything I once believed in.”

One final step brought him right in front of Daniel, who hadn’t broken eye contact this whole time.  Standing there, Tomin could have reached out and strangled Daniel with his bare hands, if he wanted to.  Of course, Daniel could probably do the same to him.  “I love her enough to understand that she needs someone who can be more than I can be, which is why I came here, because I knew I had to make peace with you.  Do _you_ understand that?”

*

Daniel was reeling.  He couldn’t believe he’d pressed that far.  Tomin had overhauled his life and turned it around to a degree Daniel had rarely seen anyone succeed at, and all he could do was drag out his past mistakes?

“I’m sorry,” he said, sinking back down into his chair.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that.” He buried his head in his hands, before pulling off his glasses to rub his eyes.  When he looked back up, Tomin was still standing in front of him, with his arms crossed.

“Do you understand that,” Tomin repeated.

Daniel thought about what Tomin was suggesting; that he, Tomin, could never become a good enough man for Vala.  When Daniel thought about the events of the past couple of weeks, that seemed crazy.  “No, I don’t understand,” he said softly.  Thinking about Vala, he felt he had to continue. “Vala doesn’t _need_ anyone – she is an amazingly strong woman who has and will probably continue to succeed in life all by her own doing.  That doesn’t make you any less of a person.”

Tomin didn’t respond, but Daniel felt as though his soul was on display as Tomin looked down on him.  Finally, he sat back down as well, leaning forward with his fists together near his face.  “You really don’t understand, do you?” Tomin asked again, shaking his head and laughing, leaving Daniel feeling like a child who’d just had his head patted before being dismissed.

“I hated you, because I thought you had came in and destroyed any chance I had at truly making Vala love me.” Tomin was speaking slowly and deliberately, obviously choosing his words carefully.  “Now, I understand that I was the one getting in the way.  Vala’s love is a gift, but it’s not me she’s chosen to give it to.  It never was.”

*

Tomin sat there while Daniel didn’t say anything for a full two minutes, but expressions running across his face, made him feel like the worst sort of voyeur.  A voice was screaming inside of Tomin’s head for him to get out of the room.  He’d said what he’d came to say, after all.  This was no longer any of his business.

No.  He came here to make sure Vala was going to be happy.  He owed her – and Daniel too, he supposed – that much, after everything they had done.  He’d stay, until he knew Daniel was going to do the right thing.

*

He had tried to deny it for about half a breath.  In the end, Daniel could only hold his breath for so long, and when what Tomin was saying had finished sinking in, Daniel could only recognize it as the truth.  Denial wasn’t a place he could return to.  All the old internal arguments fell away like ropes that could no longer bind him.

Daniel wasn’t really aware of Tomin still being in the room with him.  He wasn’t really aware of the room he was sitting in.  If Tomin knew, did that mean other people did as well?  He thought about the looks Jack had given him when Vala was around, the last time he was on the base, and groaned.  Yes, other people knew.  Almost everyone, he suspected.

Daniel shook his head.  How could he have been so _blind_?  Vala… Vala had been waiting, patiently, for him to open his eyes all this time.  If Tomin knew – if _Jack_ knew – then Daniel knew that Vala knew.  He hesitated, his breath catching once more as his senses were overloaded by the ghosts of her furtive glances and gentle touches over the past year.

He was a fool.  He had refused to acknowledge the change in her feelings, because it would have meant admitting his own.

Vala, though, Vala knew what her feelings were, but all she could know was that he had been mixed up in what he felt.  He had to fix that.

“Tomin, I….” Daniel trailed off, unsure of what to say.  He was surprised to see Tomin had a tender smile on his face. “I’m sorry… I have to go.” Tomin nodded.  “Vala…” Was all Daniel could get out in explanation.

*

Tomin stood up when Daniel did, stepping aside to let the other man go past him.  He was surprised, then, when Daniel paused, before giving him a hug that spoke of friendship in volumes. Tomin returned the hug, but couldn't help but think of the very different one he had shared with Vala earlier.  Whereas that one had been a sort of farewell, this felt like a new beginning.

“Thank you,” he heard Daniel say, before he stepped away and walked out the door.

Tomin looked around Daniel’s empty office, blinking away tears, and thought about all the things he’d left unsaid.  How he’d forgiven Daniel because of the joy he was able to give Vala.  How he’d never have begun to doubt the Prior if it hadn’t been for them.  How he owed them not only his life, but his life’s purpose. He’d never imagined what it was that Daniel had needed him to say. Never thought that it was something he’d ever want to say.

It was a start at doing something to make up for everything he’d done.

_postscript…_

It was all Daniel could do to keep himself from running down the halls as he looked for Vala.  His mind wasn’t working properly; he couldn’t even focus his thoughts long enough to think of where she could be at the moment.  Finally, when his patience was wearing thin, he found her talking to Sam in her office.  Having barged in to the room, he now stood there speechless as they both raised eyebrows at his interuption.

“I need to talk to Vala,” Daniel finally managed to spit out. After another moments pause, he continued. “In private.”

The look Sam shot him made Daniel add her to the list of people who had figured out what was going on long before he had.  Vala seemed clueless on where this was going, but that didn’t stop her from allowing him take her arm and lead her out of Sam’s office, and into an empty conference room down the hall.

It wasn’t until the door was shut that Daniel attempted to speak again.

“Hi,” was all he managed.

“Hello Daniel,” Vala said with a rather expectant smile on her face.

Daniel bit his lip.

“What’s the emergency, darling?  Last I checked, the Ori are dealt with, the goa’uld aren’t being a nuisance, and even your government is singing the SGC’s praises.”

Daniel covered Vala’s mouth with his fingers to stop her from talking.  If he’d had any lingering doubts, they would have vanished with the feeling of her lips trembling even before he replaced his fingers with his mouth.  Then he was kissing her, and when the room started to spin he wrapped his arms around her to keep them both standing.

For now, everything else could be left unsaid.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback can also be left on [livejournal](http://risti.livejournal.com/289226.html).


End file.
